Owen Plays For England FC. Not Newcastle FC.

Apparently, Owen plays for two clubs; England FC and England national team. Reason to this? All pundits, commentators and the press ever seem to talk about when talking about Owen is England, not Newcastle. Every week Big Sam is asked ‘How is Owen’s chances of recovering for the England matches,’ every week newspaper headlines are ‘Owen On Road To Recovery For England’, if I was Sam, I’d say ‘Feck England we pay his wages!’, then walk off, ring Garth Crooks’ missus and shag her to get revenge for being asked about England every week! 

I feel sorry for Newcastle fans. Over the years they have been let down season after season, but let’s stop being negative. Newcastle are on the way up, it won’t happen quickly, but it will happen. Newcastle will be a top 6 team by 2010. How do I know? Because I’m a fortune teller and today I caressed my crystal ball and I saw ‘

Newcastle=top 6 by 2010’ written on it. Honestly, I did.

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Abramovich Is Chelsea’s New Manager… And Newcastle Folding

Avram Grant is currently Chelsea’s manager. But the real manager is Roman Abramovich. Reports are flying around that Roman appointed Avram aka his lap dog, to take care of the team and do everything a normal manager does, except for pick the starting 11. Roman was furious Essien played tight and through the middle against Rosenborg and told Sheva to translate ‘Tell the idiot to play the ball out wide next week or else he’s dropped… Rosenborg are packing the centre of the midfield so we need to go round them’. Sheva said ‘Ok Sir’ and translated that to Essien, who said ‘Piss off Roman you’re not the manager’, to which Roman said ‘I will be in an hour when Jose goes’. In truth, this conversation didn’t happen along those exact lines, but I like to think it did.

Roman was growing ever more frustrated with results and how the team played, and needed an excuse to start picking the starting 11. Sheva was bought by Roman and Ballack was not Jose’s pick of a central midfielder to accomodate Lampard, but there was nothing Jose could do about it. Roman is a stubborn man who has no real clue about football. I saw a sign against Hull City written by Chelsea fans saying ‘Chelsea Is Our club, Not Your Toy Roman, Long Live Mourinho!’. Wrong. Fact is

Chelsea is Romans. If Roman wanted to sell all the players, he could do so. If Roman wanted to fold Chelsea FC, he could do so. If Roman wanted to make

Chelsea play behind closed doors, he could do so. Therefore

Chelsea is Romans. Whether it’s his toy is another debate.

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Which Team is Best Equipped to Break Into the Top Four?

When fans of the English Premier League refer to the ‘top four’, they are generally talking about Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal. However with the influx of the new TV money there appears to be a tide of contenders threatening to break the dominance of the big four.Ever since Rafa Benitez joined and started reshaping a Liverpool side that often failed to deceive into genuine contenders for honours and Roman Abromovich came in and gave Mourinho so much money to spend that they could afford to buy £21 million bench players like Shaun Wright Phillips, the top four places in the league table have generally been filled by those teams each season. Finishing in one of the top four places gains qualification for the Champions League- the two top automatically enter the group stages while the teams that finish third and fourth play a two legged tie against often substandard European opponents.

The last time the stranglehold on the top four was broken was by a spirited Everton side in 2004/05, who finished three points ahead of a Liverpool team distracted by the Champions League - but the Toffees then failed to advance in either the Champions League or the UEFA Cup, losing to Villareal and then getting thrashed by Dinamo Bucharesti. Liverpool still qualified for the Champions League the next season by virtue of them picking up the trophy and being allowed back in by UEFA. Other than Everton, the closest a side has come spoiling the party was the Tottenham Hotspur team of 2005/06, who led a struggling Arsenal side for large parts of the season before succumbing on the last day of the season to West Ham United and thus gifting Arsenal their place in the Champions League qualifiers. While most do not think that another team will break into the top four very soon, with the amount of big spending and the types of players being brought into the Premier League, anything is possible. Here, I will take a look at the four teams that I feel are the most capable of doing so.

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Why Newcastle fans should be optimistic this season

Every single year, Newcastle fans start the season off with raised expectations of how their team will do. Despite the failures of the year prior, fans dubbed one of the most passionate in England feel that the coming year may be different, before inevitably viewing a year of losing to mediocre teams, a horrible team and a distinct lack of silverware. This year however, it may be different- and here I write to tell you why.

While ex-owner of the club Freddy Shepherd regularly courted both controversy and embarrassment by his outbursts in the press, new owner Mike Ashley has quietly stayed in the background while offering new manager Sam Allardyce funds to spend. Although Newcastle have had a series of bad managers in the past, Allardyce seems a step in the right direction after his strong spell at Bolton Wanderers, leading a club in the bottom half of the England’s second tier to become a respectable mid-table team in the Premier League. The highlight of Allardyce’s time at Bolton has to be taking the club into the UEFA Cup for the first time in the club’s history. Bolton Wanderers were known as a tight defensive unit- something that Newcastle were the complete opposite of.

Immediately after arriving at Newcastle, Allardyce cleared out much of the “dead wood”- players such as Titus Bramble and Oguchi Onyewu. These players had not been up to the task they were supposed to do- defend, and it clearly shown in the goals conceded column of the Premier League table. Some of Newcastle’s transfer dealings during this window have been very astute, and here I will look at the new players that will be playing in black and white for season 2007/08.

Up front, Mark Viduka and Alan Smith have been added to the ranks. These are excellent additions to a striking lineup that already included the likes of Michael Owen and Obafemi Martins, and is surely guaranteed to score goals. Mark Viduka is a proven Premier League player, having scored goals for the likes of Middlesbrough and Leeds United before joining the Geordies. Alan Smith will provide able backup should injuries occur, and has an added bonus of being able to play in central midfield- something that will benefit Newcastle with their well known about injury problems. Although Michael Owen is injured at the moment, Viduka and Martins should form a powerful partnership that Premiership defenses will find hard to cope with.

In midfield, ex-Real Madrid player Geremi and ex-Manchester City hothead Joey Barton join the club. Geremi is a versatile player that can fill in at defense if need be, while Barton will add some passion to a side that looked lifeless at times last season. Coupled with the likes of Emre, Nicky Butt and N’Zogbia, there are quite a few players in that Newcastle midfield that could cause problems for even the best teams in the game.

Lastly, it is defense that needed the most strengthening and this has been done. With Rozenthal, Enrique and Cacapa having already joined the club, Newcastle are also rumoured to be in talks with Leighton Baines and/or Nicky Shorey. The Toon have also done well to keep hold of goalkeeper Shay Given- a player who saves them at least 5-10 points per season. With all these dealings in the transfer market, Newcastle fans will be ecstatic to know that after so many seasons of defensive woe, they finally have a manager that looks at bolstering the defence.

So, why exactly should Newcastle be optimistic about the upcoming season? With a few more additions to the talented squad they already have, there is no reason why they will not be in the reckoning for European places come May 2008. With an attacking line-up almost guaranteed to get goals and a solid midfield, if Allardyce makes the defence anywhere near as strong as Bolton’s defence was, Newcastle will be right up there with Tottenham, Everton and Manchester City battling out for that fifth place slot (and UEFA Cup football). Although I think it is too early for them to qualify for the Champions League, with a couple of successful seasons who knows what could happen. The start they have had thus far will only help increased the sense of optimism- a strong preseason, where they beat the likes of Juventus and Celtic followed up with a thrashing of Bolton and a draw against Aston Villa in the Premiership. While Newcastle will definitely not be in contention for the Premiership title, fans should expect a strong push in the domestic cups- and maybe even some silverware if the club gets a few lucky breaks in the FA and Carling Cup.

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