Abramovich Is Chelsea’s New Manager… And Newcastle Folding

Avram Grant is currently Chelsea’s manager. But the real manager is Roman Abramovich. Reports are flying around that Roman appointed Avram aka his lap dog, to take care of the team and do everything a normal manager does, except for pick the starting 11. Roman was furious Essien played tight and through the middle against Rosenborg and told Sheva to translate ‘Tell the idiot to play the ball out wide next week or else he’s dropped… Rosenborg are packing the centre of the midfield so we need to go round them’. Sheva said ‘Ok Sir’ and translated that to Essien, who said ‘Piss off Roman you’re not the manager’, to which Roman said ‘I will be in an hour when Jose goes’. In truth, this conversation didn’t happen along those exact lines, but I like to think it did.

Roman was growing ever more frustrated with results and how the team played, and needed an excuse to start picking the starting 11. Sheva was bought by Roman and Ballack was not Jose’s pick of a central midfielder to accomodate Lampard, but there was nothing Jose could do about it. Roman is a stubborn man who has no real clue about football. I saw a sign against Hull City written by Chelsea fans saying ‘Chelsea Is Our club, Not Your Toy Roman, Long Live Mourinho!’. Wrong. Fact is

Chelsea is Romans. If Roman wanted to sell all the players, he could do so. If Roman wanted to fold Chelsea FC, he could do so. If Roman wanted to make

Chelsea play behind closed doors, he could do so. Therefore

Chelsea is Romans. Whether it’s his toy is another debate.

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Embrace the Rise of Cesc Fabregas

All football fans that watch the Premier League should considered themselves lucky at the moment- they are seeing the development of one of the best players in the world. Francesc Fabregas Soler came to Arsenal as a mere 16-year old child, stolen from under

Barcelona’s noses out of their reserves. Four years later, Fabregas has been the driving force behind Arsenal’s rise to the summit of the Premiership table. The fact that Fabregas is just twenty years of age and could conceivably play the game for another twelve or so years will not be something those who do not support Arsenal will want to remember too fondly.  

In the past, people that watched Cesc Fabregas could always tell he was a cut above the rest. Even at Barcelona’s famed youth academy, where the likes of Bojan Krkic, Leo Messi and Gerard Pique where produced Fabregas’ skill outshone all others, and when Barcelona did not give him enough first team football and Arsenal came calling, Fabregas made the trip to England to play for the Gunners. The Spaniard was first thrust into action for the Gunners in a Carling Cup tie against

Rotherham at the tender age of 16 years and 177 days. His first goal for the Gunners came just a week later, when he netted against Wolves- making him the youngest ever goal-scorer in Arsenal’s history. 

At few other places in the world can you see an unsure, nervous teenager blossom into one of the best players in the world; Fabregas will surely make that position his own if he keeps improving at the rate he has done. In his younger days Cesc was known as a prolific scorer of goals- sometimes netting more than thirty goals a season despite being played as a volante (defensive midfielder) in

Barcelona’s reserves. He also finished as the top scorer in the 2003 U-17 World Cup, scoring five goals from midfield as

Spain
claimed second place. At Arsenal he had not really scored many goals despite the promising start to his career, and although he had started taking quite a few shots last season he still did not score many due to a combination of bad luck and poor finishing when in good positions.
 

After this year’s start to the campaign, Arsenal fans will hope that it is not just a purple patch for Fabregas and that he will continue his fine form. Fabregas has not just scored seven goals in Arsenal’s first nine games- he has also set up six goals for his teammates. The stellar performances he has put in have been instrumental in Arsenal’s surge to the top of the table, and should he keep some semblance of this form up they will definitely be in contention for honours come May 2008. While many Arsenal fans thought that the seemingly lightweight Fabregas could never replace physical midfielder Patrick Vieira, the Spaniard has done so well- not just offensively but also helping out in defense when needed. Despite his tiny frame, Cesc is not afraid to compete for a tackle with players double his size, and that is a bonus as one needs to be capable of that in the physically testing English Premier League. 

Cesc Fabregas will be the undisputed best player in the world within the next three years; you heard it here first (well, I’m probably the 1000th person to say it but ah well). Make sure you embrace every single second that the Spaniard is on the pitch, as this is truly a remarkable example of how well Arsene Wenger’s youth policy actually works.

Five Tips For Wannabe Goalkeepers

Jason Fukushima is a new writer for the site and will regularly give his perspective on events from a goalkeeper’s point of view, as well as tips on how wannabe goalkeepers around the world can improve themselves- Ed 

To start off my name is Jason Fukushima and I am a goalkeeper.  I play for a competitive team in California playing in a good league.  However, this league is not professional and I am still an amateur looking to play college ball.

So let’s begin:

I think before I start naming off things is to clarify first off that the whole misconception about Goalkeepers.  We do not and shall not become goalkeepers by force and by athleticism.  Most coaches either force kids to become the keeper or because they are the slowest or most unfit on the team.  We become goalkeepers because we like responsibility, know how to control all 11 players on the field including ourselves for the whole game, and we love soaring through the air making unbelievable saves.

  1. Hands: Our hands should always be good.  This is why the United States has produced some pretty good keepers.  To name a few, Tim Howard, Kasey Keller, Tony Meola…the list continues. The

    U.S. plays baseball, basketball, and other sports that requires SOFT HANDS.  Soft Hands is part of having them in general.  We must be good at receiving balls to the hands cleanly.  By this I mean proper shape, while many of my trainers have forced the “W” on me and I employ this shape to this day, the “Triangle” probably works just as well though.  But one of these definitely has to be good and sound for a keeper to properly receive the ball.   

  1. Athleticism: After hands, athleticism probably comes next. We need to have very fast reflexes or be very tall. I will not endorse height as a necessity because I am a rather short goalkeeper. Also, about the height thing, I have reached and saved balls that my taller counter parts looked at and coveted. We should not be the most athletic player on the team, but one of the most athletic. 

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Arsenal Sign Drogba. And Now They Will Win The League

The New Drogba

Arsenal have signed Drogba. He scored a hat trick today, and he also scored 2 belters against Tottenham last week. More to the point, Adebayor is fast becoming the new Drogba. Last week Adebayor, who is known as ‘Adecanthitthebarndoor’ across forums, scored an absolute scorcher and turned in a sensational performance this week.

After the press conference Adebayor said, ‘The manager believes we can win the league and this year we believe we can too’. His tongue slipped. It must of. Because no other player would reveal such a statement, he’s just told the gooners across the world the reason to Arsenal’s poor form over the past couple of seasons; the players didn’t believe in themselves. This season Fabregas, Toure, Hleb, Adebayor and the rest have all sat down whilst on a night out together and Cesc has said, ‘Listen guys, we can win it this year. I actually think we can win it this year’. Maybe not in those exact words, but he has said it. How do I know? Because I do. Well I don’t, but I like to think I do.

Players are playing without pressure and are enjoying their football, and I can’t help but think the reason to this is Henry’s departure. Henry was bossy, arrogant and impatient. Yet he was so bloody good. I’m going to stick my kneck out and say Arsenal will win the league. Liverpool will not,

Rafa has bought well for once, but the team needs to gel.

Rafa at Valencia was a rotating manager.

Rafa at Liverpool is a rotating manager.

However, he needs to understand there is a right time to rotate. Rotation is good, but only at the correct time, not when players are scoring and are playing well. He is stubborn, just like Arsene was 2 years ago when he kept insisting the team to play passing football without many crosses or long shots. Arsene had so much belief in his own tactics he didn’t listen to any critics. Now he realises it was a mistake. Teams have learned how to play against the fast flowing football, therefore towards the end of last season he changed the tactics. He started to cross and let players shoot from distance. It has worked. Rafa is also not listening to the critics about his rotation, but he has so much belief that it will work he keeps rotating. In 2 years time he will look back and say ‘I rotated too much’. Mistakes are things that people realise in the future, not now. Liverpool’s team need to gel together. Torres will be good this season, but next season he will be even better. Liverpool will not win the league this season,

Liverpool will win the league next season. Read more »

Talksport Talk Crap

Talksport: ‘Talksport speaking how can I help?’

Me: ‘I’d like to be put on air to speak to Adrian about England’s performances’

Talksport: ‘Have you rung before?’

Me: ‘Yes I rang him about 2 months ago when Arsenal signed Bacari Sagna and Adrian was ripping Wenger apart for spending £7.5m on a foreigner’ And before I knew it…

Adrian: ‘Ramin from London… I seem to remember your name from a couple of weeks ago, what would you like to talk about this time?’

Me: ‘I’ve sat here and listened to you talk crap about England and how crap they are, but it’s time people like you realised the national team won’t get anywhere until the press and media ease the pressure off them. I know you say what you do because you’re second favourite to Five Live and you need listeners but….. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP’

That was the end. He cut me off.I was just about to tell him how he was a pleasant young chap and one of the best presenters in the radio industry… bollocks was I.

Steve has come under severe criticism in the last few months, but in my opinion it’s not all his fault. It’s not his fault the F.A appointed him when they needed someone who the players respect and listen to, it’s not his fault England players are lazy and overhyped, but hey that’s life. Read more »

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